Do you find yourself derailed by other people’s plans for you? Are others controlling your decisions, objectives, dreams? Need we remind you that your life is yours and you are not in the possession of anyone but yourself – either? Even in marriage, you’ve entered into a partnership, not an ownership. The same holds true for friendships and work relationships.

Controlling situations can begin in a benign fashion: A friend goes shopping with you and talks you into buying clothes that you don’t really find flattering. You don’t need them and you can’t afford them, but you find yourself buckling under the pressure of their influence. Then you get home, angry at yourself for being so weak. So what began as a fun outing with a buddy ended with emotional self-flagellation?

Who’s in charge?
When you hand over the reins to your life, you’re effectively telling someone else, “I have no mind of my own. Whatever you decide for me, I will do.” This is a recipe for disaster. More extreme versions lead to abusive situations where someone is so enthralled of another that they can’t even think to get themselves out of a dangerous situation.

How can you prevent such a scenario from happening to you? One thing is certain… no matter how much you value the wisdom or influence of your spouse, colleagues or friends; you must always cherish independent thought. Without that, you will never be in control of you life.

Free thinking
When someone attempts to control you they are suiting themselves not your needs – no matter what arguments they may have to the contrary. Ensure that you’re free of the shackles of someone else’s plans for you by basing your decisions on your own thinking. Do your own research, examine situations objectively and form your own opinions. Then, if you’re in agreement, by all means move forward with the plans while retaining the option to change your mind. Otherwise, you must speak up.

Let’s say the person you’re dating wants to see you dress more provocatively, but you don’t want to look “cheap.” Don’t be afraid to tell them so and then offer a compromise that you feel comfortable with – perhaps you’ll dress like a sex kitten in the bedroom, but not in public. You needn’t dye your hair, get breast implants, a tattoo, move to another country, and take a job that you detest (assuming a better one is available) or be amongst a crowd you don’t care for just because someone else thinks it’s a good idea for you.

Balanced power
A true friend will offer their opinion (whether or not it’s sought by you) and then politely agree to disagree if your way differs from theirs. When the friend acts angry or hurt that you don’t follow their advice or plans, you must ask yourself whether it’s because they’re truly concerned about you or whether they’re just miffed that you don’t fall in step with their every command.

The problem with allowing someone else to determine your path is that you will never feel the sense of fulfillment that you would otherwise, had you followed a path of your own making. Remember: You’re behind the wheel during your journey through life. Handing the wheel over to someone else means you’re not on your voyage – you’re on theirs.

Just remember that your own journey will always be far more fun and fulfilling.

s0urCe: http://www.enasha.com/article.php?id=3017

Gurung
Amrit Gurung Bhanbhagta Gurung Thaman Gurung Sudip Gurung
Total population
686,000 0.5% of the Nepal population [1]
Regions with significant populations
Pokhara, Kathmandu, Lalitpur, Bhaktapur
Languages
Gurung, Nepali
Religion
Predominant Buddhist ;10% Hindu

The Gurung is an ethnic group from the Central region of Nepal. They live primarily in West Nepal’s Gandaki zone, specifically Lamjung, Kaski, Tanahu, Gorkha, Parbat and Syangja districts as well as the Manang district around the Annapurna mountain range. Some live in the Baglung, Okhaldhunga and Taplejung districts and Machhapuchhre as well. Small numbers are believed to be living in Sikkim, Bhutan and India’s West Bengal.

There are 686,000 Gurung (Τamu) (2.39% of Nepal’s total population) of which 338,925 speak Gurung language.

//<![CDATA[
if (window.showTocToggle) { var tocShowText = "show"; var tocHideText = "hide"; showTocToggle(); }
//]]>

Origins

The ancient tamu(gurung) tradition known as “Pye-tan-lhu-tan” …is preserved history of tamu (gurung) the ‘Pye-tan-lhu-tan’ stated that the Gurung originated from the western mongolia.Gurung Shamanism tradition is similar to natives in Siberia and Mongolia.^{[citation needed]}

some anthropologists accepted that the Gurungs descended from central asian (Xiongnu 匈奴).^{[citation needed]}

History

This article may need to be wikified to meet Wikipedia’s quality standards. Please help by adding relevant internal links, or by improving the article’s layout. (December 2007)

Gandaki District, Kaski Zone

History of Gurungs In 1958, Bernard Pignede, a French student of anthropology came to Nepal to study about Gurungs. He spent seven months in a Gurung village Mohoriya (Kaski, Gandaki) and traveled through many neighboring Gurung villages to do his research. He learned to speak tamu-kuwei (gurung dialect) and documented pretty much everything about the gurungs — their social structure, culture, religion, history, occupations, legends and myths. He translated pae, a ritual and religious practice that one gurung generation has passed down to another for thousands of years. Pae conveys the oral history of gurungs and is considered very sacred. Unfortunately, Pignede died tragically in 1961 at age of 29. After his death, Professor Louis Dumont published Pegnede’s work in 1966. The book was immediately recognized as a major contribution to the anthropology of the Himalayas. Later, two noted anthropologists — Sarah Harrison and Alan Macfarlane ( www.alanmacfarlane.com ) translated it in English and published the first English version in 1993. Harrison and Macfarlane did further study of gurungs and added more to Pignede’s work. The English version of book is called “The Gurungs”, which is probably the most acclaimed research on Gurungs so far.

The Tamu (Gurung) Pye refers to the very beginning of civilization, more than eight or nine thousand years ago. They tell the origin of human beings and of the materials that they used. Tamu Priests still use some of these primitive utensils in their rituals. The Pye do not seem to have changed substantially over time.

They refer to the ancestors of the Tamu, their Aji-khe (Khe-ku, nine male ancestors), Aji-ma (Ma-i, seven female ancestors), and Aba Kara Klye, spiritual master, lords, ghosts etc. Tamu Pye tells how the first people lived in Cho (Tso) Nasa, a lakeside village, where they planted the first grain, barley. Then they dispersed to other places such as Sa Nasa, Dwo Nasa, Si Nasa and Kro Nasa, the latter being in the south, hot and fertile. Later the northern Cho Nasa was rich in religious activity, speaking Tamu-Kwyi. Other Tamu villages developed according to their proximity to the northern and southern ends. There are also stories about the discovery of fire, how the drum was first made, and many other things in the Pye.

The ancestors of the Tamu, Ma-i and Khe-ku, seem to have been represented as seven lakes (the former) and nine mountain peaks (the latter). There is a traditional assumption that Cho Nasa, as described in the Pye-ta Lhu-ta, lay in western Mongolia, and was ringed by seven lakes and surrounded by three mountain ranges. To the south, in Xinjiang in Western China, north of Tibet, in the Turfan Depression, lay Kro Nasa. Large lakes are called nuur in Mongolia, nor in Western China, and tso(cho) in Tibet.In Tamu tradition, as they migrated from one site to another, they would call the new site by the old name if it was similar in aspect. Tamu Pye tells that the soul of a dead person is believed to go first to Koko-limar-tso, which is under water. In the Qinghai region of China lies a huge lake with an island in the middle called Koko Nor ( or Ching Hai). It is similar to Hara Usa Nuur (one of the seven lakes) of western Mongolia, and some near-by places have names which end in “chow”, conceivably derived from the Cho Nasa of almost six or seven thousand years ago, described in Tamu Pye. Similarly Sa Nasa, Two Nasa, Si Nasa and kro Nasa could be placed in the Qinghai, Gansu, Sichuan and Yunnan regions of China respectively, running southward to tibet and then nepal.

Besides this document, Bernard Pingde also collected other texts from various sources that tell the origin of Gurungs.

a). One of the texts which was in Nepali came from the east of Nepal where the Rais and Limbus live. It goes as follows: “The Kirati are the oldest inhabitants of Nepal. Soyenbumanu who lived in the land of Hemonta had several children, The second Thoinua, went off towards Japan. The third went towards Thailand, Burma and Cochin-China. The eldest went towards China, then Tibet, and arrived at the northern frontier of India. His name was Munainua. He had ten children: Yoktumba, founder of the Limbus, Yakakowa, founder of the race of Rais, Lunpheba, founder of the Larus, Thanpheba, Suhacepa, founder of the Sunwars (Chepangs, Thamis), Gurupa, founder of the Gurungs, Mankapa, founder of the Magars, Toklokapa, founder of the Thakalis, Tamangs and Sherpas, Thandwas, founder of the Tharus and of the Danwars. For thirty-three generations, the Kirati governed in Kathmandu”.

b). C.B Ghotane, a Gurung scholar has the following interpretation of Gurung history:

“The origins of the Gurungs, Tamangs of central Nepal seem to be connected with the ancestors of the Kirats, an ancient mongolian tribal group, who occupied the northern area of the Indo-Gangetic plain and the foothills of the whole Himalayan range which extends from the Kashmir valley to Assam, Nagaland and Manipur.

The earliest civilization of Kathmandu valley was founded by Kirats. They lived in the foothills and the large inner valleys of Nepal. They appear to have fled to the green mountain tops for safety after the overthrow of the Kirat ruler in the first century A.D. They were pushed further north with the invasion of Indo-Aryans, who infiltrated Nepal in great numbers during the period of Muslim attacks on India from the fifteen century.”

A Gurung hugging a goat

Bernard Pingde also collected a few other “vansavalis” that Brahamin priests had prepared. The accountability of such “vansavalis” is questionable since they contain conflicting facts and are influenced by the Hinduism and it’s castism.

Pingde did his research during 50s when most of the Gurungs were still living in their ancient villages and their rich culture and traditions were well preserved. Today, many Gurungs have migrated to the cities of Nepal and abroad. They are struggling to preserve their language and culture. Pingde’s book on Gurungs serves as a great source of knowledge for anyone who would like to know about one of the ancient people of Nepal, the Gurungs.

Gurung Music

The gurung have very rich tradition of music and culture. Gurung have established the system of Rodhi which is little similar to mordern discos,where young people meet and share their views in music and dancing. They have own music and dancing history. Some musical dance like Ghatu, Chudka are still in existence.In many gurung villages they are still performing such type of musical dances. These dance are performed either in a solo or in a groups.

In few gurung villages one can still find such dances or music.The gurung films are also promoting these musical dances.

Jobs

Gurkha Soldier Monument at London.

Though only about half a million in number, the Gurung people have made distinct and immense contributions to history and culture and have demonstrated an unwavering commitment to world peace and progress. At present, the majority of Gurungs live in Nepal, where they form one of the many ethnic groups in the country. In Nepal, Gurungs have and continue to play significant roles in all spheres of the country’s development. Outside Nepal, many Gurungs, some in their renowned role as Gurkha soldiers, have lived and been exposed to diverse world cultures in areas as different as Bhutan, Europe, Hong-Kong, India, Japan, Korea, and the United States of America. In Nepal, Gurungs can be divided into two categories, highlanders and lowlanders (though Gurungs are predominantly highlanders). Highlanders living on the slopes of Himalayas still rely heavily on a pastoral and agricultural way of life. They grow rice, wheat, maize, millet and potatoes, normally on terraced mountain slopes. They also derive subsistence from sheep breeding for meat and wool, using fierce mastiffs as sheepdogs.

A Gurung farmer in his orange orchard, near Kalimpong, West Bengal, India

Many Gurung families, however, have another important source of income — the pensions and salaries of family members who are in the army. Among them are the legendary fighters of the British Gurkha Regiment, who were honored with Victoria Crosses for their bravery. Indeed Gurungs are renowned for their role as Gurkha soldiers, making unparalleled contributions in far flung places such as Europe during World Wars I and II, Burma, Malaysia, the Falklands, Africa, and India. Most recently, Gurungs have participated and continue to participate in most United Nations peacekeeping missions throughout the world.

Despite many pushes and pulls of modern day life, Gurungs are increasingly eager to learn, preserve, and celebrate their distinct cultural heritage and practices. This includes not only the various belief systems and cultural practices surrounding festivals, birth, marriage, and death rituals, but also the Gurungs’ own language Tamu Kwei, generally considered a Tibeto-Burman dialect. This focus on Gurung culture continues to provide invaluable insights and inspiration toward the future.

In an ever more interdependent world, Gurungs face the challenge of balancing the preservation of their unique cultural heritage with adaptation to the demands of modern life. The majority of Gurungs still struggle for basic opportunities to improve their livelihoods. As in the past, Gurungs need to invest in opportunities that build on their well-known attributes as people who are hard working, trustworthy, adaptable, and quick-learners in meeting the challenges of modern life in Nepal and beyond its boundaries. Gurungs seek support and guidance from individuals, institutions, and governments.

Lifestyle

Their traditional occupation was based on sheep herding, trans-Himalayan trade and farming. In the 19th and early 20th century, many Gurung were recruited to serve in the British and Indian Gurkha regiments. Today, the Singapore Police, Brunei reserve units and the French Foreign Legion incorporate ethnically Gurung members. While serving in the British Army they have earned more than 6 Victoria Cross awards. Gurungs are not only restricted to military occupations, many live in urban areas and are employed in all types of labor, business and professional services.

Gurungs trace their descent patrilineally, organized into two groups, or moieties of patrilineal clans.

A noted Gurung tradition is the institution of Rodhi where teenagers form fictive kinship bonds and become Rodhi members to socialize, perform communal tasks, and find marriage partners. But the institution is rarely in existence because of its notoriety in the community. ‘Rodhi’ literally means weaving and making of baskets.

Generally speaking, the Gurungs are divided into two castes (Jaat in the local tongue); Chaar and the Sohra. Within the Chaat jaat there exists further sub-divisions: namely, Ghale, Ghotane, Lama and Lamichhaney. Their cultural norms and values are greatly influenced by the Tibetans. Tibetan priests does all the rituals. They are the main part of their culture. They are mainly Buddhist by religion. The Sohra jaat means (16 castes) ; but there exists more than 50 (approx) further sub devisions, named by their occupations. Their tradition mainly rely on Pye- taa, Lhu taa. They have their own priests, ‘ghyabreys’ and ‘pachyus’ and they do all the traditional rituals. They follow ‘Bon’ religion which was originated from mongolia with the origin of gurungs. But we can see the influence of Hindu religion in the culture and tradition of the gurungs.

Religion

Traditionally, Gurungs are adherents of Shamanism–known as Bön among communal circles, although there exists significant distinctions with the Tibetan Bön religion. Contemporary Shamanistic rituals such as ancestor and nature veneration, blood offering rituals found in the Gurung faith are no longer practiced by Tibetan Bön. The role of religion among the Gurungs play an intergrated role within their cultural circles.^[2]

Centuries of cultural influence from Tibet and its northern neighbours–which adopted the Tibetan culture to a heavy extent resulted in many Gurungs gradually embracing Tibetan Buddhism–particularly among Gurungs in the Manang region–over the centuries, particularly the Nyingma school.^[3] However, Shamanistic elements among the Gurungs remain strong and most Gurungs often embrace Buddhist and Bön rituals in all communal activities. The influence of Hinduism is also particularly strong among sections of Gurungs who live among ethnic groups who are more in contact with the mainstream Hindu Nepali culture. Veneration of Hindu, Buddhist and Bön deities are not unheard of among Gurung households.^[4]

According to the 2001 Nepal Census, 69.03% of the ethnic Gurung were Buddhists, 28.75% were Hindus and 0.66% were Christians.

See also

• Gurung (surname)

Shri Lil Bahadur Gurung was the First Gorkha to become Director of Military Music Wing, Pachmarhi(Madhya Pradesh) of Indian Army. He composed a lot of Music for Indian Army. He was the first Indian to get diploma in band conducting from Licentiate Trinity college of London. Now a days he is settled down in Jabalpur, India and enjoying his retired life.

source: http://www.answers.com/gurung

ust have the right attitude and the right state of mind, the rest will just

fall into place. I think it causes a lot of h

urt and disappointment in people who invest their time, effort, and of course, money into these systems and find themselves, one or two or five years down the line, exactly where they were before.

“You must not have wanted it badly enough,” the authors of these philosophies seem to be saying. “There must still be something wrong with you.”

I don’t think that, ultimately, God or the Spirits or the Universe or the world “provides”. I think a lot of times the world puts obstacles in our way, and no amount of positive thinking makes them go away. And I think that a lot of the people who are “successful”, by whatever standard you want to use, have as much “wrong” with them as a lot of the ones who aren’t successful. Maybe more.

In any case, wherever the motivation comes from, the things that really make our lives worth living can be quite difficult. (And who knows, maybe thinking positively helps take some of the edge off of doing th

e hard stuff?) What’s more, they can take a lot of time to do, and even more time to get right. But I think that doing is the important thing, not the result — throwing yourself into something with all your heart, mind, and soul is the success, not the “growing rich” part.

Here, then, are ten things that are really hard to do but which have an incredible power to make your life better.

1. Start a business

My dad, who has been self-employed almost all his life, used to tell me that “Only jerks work for jerks.” Working for someone else puts you at their mercy and subjects you to their whims — and often their poor m

anagement skills. Not only that, but the profit of your labor goes into their pockets.

Starting a business puts you in control of your work life, and your money. It’s hard — small businesses fail every day. But the rewards of even a failed venture can far outweigh the risk. Just knowing that your failure was th

e result of your own choices — instead of a decision made at a corporate office a thousand miles away — can be liberating.

2. Organize a group

What makes you passionate? Chances are, being around other people who are passionate about the same thing would make you even more passionate about it. Often the only thing keeping you and them from coming together is

that nobody’s put out a sign saying “Come and talk!” Getting a group going is a tremendous challenge, and very often the personality of the founder leaves a tremendous mark on the group as a whole. Seeing a group grow and take off can be tremendously awarding — but even failing can teach you important things about leadership.

3. Volunteer

I don’t mean spend Thanksgiving at a soup kitchen, though that can often be challenging enough. What

I mean, though, is to make a long-term investment in your community by joining school committees, donating three hours a week in a shelter, hosting a monthly read-along at the library, tutoring at-risk children after school, teaching adult literacy classes at a local prison, or any of a million ways to play a role in the lives of people who need you. Perhaps the most pressing need in our society is for people to take an interest in and engage with their communities.

4. Take an active role in your children’s’ activities

Pick one thing your child does and commit yourself to it. Coach their team, become a Brownie leader, spend a weekend day in the workshop with them, buy a bike and ride along with them — make their passions your own. Don’t crowd them — especially if you have teenagers — but show them that you value something they do by giving them your time and interest.

5. Start a family

I don’t mean have kids. That can be all too easy! Make the decision to have a family, which means to give of yourself fully to another person or several people. Risk being vulnerable by sharing your fears, quirks, and failures with someone else; you might find it makes you stronger than ever before.

This transcends marriage and parenthood. There are lots of people who can’t marry because the law prevents it. There are people who can’t have children. These are not the essential ingredients of family. The essential ingr

edients are love, mutual respect, trust, and open giving. Find (or make) someone you can share that with.

6. Write a book

It feels really, really good to see your name on a book cover, but it feels even better to know that some

one, somewhere, might find his or her life changed by something you’ve written. Share your particular expertise, whether it’s story-telling or woodworking, with the world — or just your family. Time isn’t the big issue (though it is an issue — don’t let the positive thinkists tell you otherwise!) but if you commit yourself to a page a day — a couple hundred words — within a year you’ll have a pretty decent-sized manuscript. That’s something to work with!

7. Learn an art

Take painting lessons, a pottery workshop, a music class, whatever — learn to express yourself and you might find a self worth expressing. Don’t settle for being a “Sunday painter” — devote yourself to an art and master it.

8. Run for office

The world needs smart, dedicated, and upright people to take care of all the fiddly details of making things run. As it happens, running for local office isn’t as challenging as you’d think (which isn’t to say it’s easy) — Michael Moore, the filmmaker, ran for school board while he was still in high school. Just for kicks. And won! It’s fine to have

your heart set on the White House or Capital Hill, but try your hand at city councilperson, county registrar, or something closer to home first. And be clean — run for the experience of putting your community on a better path, and not for the power.

9. Take up a sport

Enough with the working out already! Sure, you want to be healthy, but the whole treadmill-running, iPod-listening, 45-minutes-after-work thing is a little anti-social, don’t you think? OK, you want some solitude once in a while — fine. But at least add a sport, something you do with other people. You’ll be spending time interacting with others, while also developing team-building and leadership skills. And, you might learn something from your fello

w players.

10. Set an outrageous goal — and achieve it!

The nine tips above are only a handful of ideas about how to make your life better. Maybe you want to record an album, climb a mountain, make the Hajj (the pilgrimage to Mecca), see 20 countries — don’t just settle for tiny goals, push yourself all the way to the edge and figure out how to make the craziest thing you can think of happen. Yes, you’ll have to learn a lot along the way, and plan months or even years in advance — that’s what makes outlandish goals worthwhile.

I don’t want to suggest that you need to do all these things to be happy — doing just one is quite a handful! But if you’re unhappy with your life, if you want to make a change for the better, you need to think big and you need to be ready to put in the work to make it happen. It’s easy to “visualize success” and to “think positively”; it’s not so easy to throw yourself into the unknown and make it work. But if you can make it work, you’ll gain far more than you can imagine.

source: http://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifestyle/10-hard-ways-to-make-your-life-better.html

As the new year blossoms, may the journey of your life be fragrant with new opportunities, your days be bright with new hopes and your heart be happy with love!…..&………This bright New Year is given to me to live each day with zest, to daily grow and try to be my highest and my best!……..